Three Paradoxes in Vietnam’s Early Childhood Education: When Love Becomes Pressure

In Vietnam, early childhood education is more than just learning; it reflects parents' aspirations and societal values. Every parent dreams of their child being healthy, intelligent, and happy. However, these aspirations can sometimes burden young children. Three paradoxes emerge: parents pursue excellence using ineffective methods, desire creativity while imposing strict rules, and seek happiness while placing excessive expectations. These issues stem from love, combined with societal pressures to succeed, profoundly impacting children during their formative years of play and exploration.

1. The Academic Paradox: Chasing Excellence, Missing the Mark

Sand Playtime at *HEI Schools Saigon Central*

Parents set high expectations, but is it beneficial?

Imagine 3- and 4-year-olds in Vietnam, hunched over desks, tracing letters, solving math problems, or perfecting their handwriting. Parents view this as an early advantage, easing the transition to first grade in a competitive world. However, does this accelerated approach truly benefit children in the long term, or does it deprive them of valuable experiences?

Research suggests otherwise. Marcon (2002), in "Early Childhood Research & Practice," found that children who engage in more play outperform those who are subjected to early academic drilling. Young minds thrive through exploration, not rote learning. Consider Finland, where children begin reading and writing at age 7, yet excel in assessments like PISA. Pasi Sahlberg (2015), in "Finnish Lessons 2.0," emphasizes the importance of building confidence and curiosity first, as rushing can lead to anxiety, diminished motivation, and stifled creativity.

In the United States, Miller & Almon (2009), in "Crisis in the Kindergarten," observed that children pushed too early often become irritable or withdrawn, experiencing anxiety when they struggle to keep pace. Imagine a 4-year-old being reprimanded for messy handwriting; these negative experiences can have lasting effects. In Vietnam, the pressure is intensified by social comparisons, with everyone observing "that kid next door" who is perceived as more advanced.

Why the hurry?

What drives this urgency? It stems from love, but also fear—the fear of falling behind in a society that values early achievements. Preschools advertise "grade-one readiness," friends boast about their 4-year-olds reading, and parents become anxious. However, early academic drills do not guarantee success. Children need foundational skills such as logic, concentration, and resilience, which cannot be taught through worksheets..

A gentler way

A more nurturing approach involves replacing workbooks with exploration. Puzzles, stories, and imaginative play foster problem-solving skills and patience more effectively than premature academic exercises. Hirsh-Pasek et al. (2009), in "A Mandate for Playful Learning in Preschool," demonstrate that playful learning enhances cognitive abilities and stimulates creativity—valuable assets for lifelong learning.

2. The Creativity Paradox: Wanting Originality, Setting Limits

Why do parents stifle the creativity they value?

Every parent desires a child who thinks creatively, dreams expansively, and discovers innovative solutions. However, many parents inadvertently suppress this creativity through rigid rules. When a child paints a purple sky or red grass, they might be told, "No, skies are blue, and grass is green." These small corrections convey the message, "Adhere to conventional norms."

Experts hold a different view. Beghetto & Kaufman (2007), in "Creativity Research Journal," argue that children thrive when they are free from judgment. Russ (2014), in "The Psychology of Creative Play," emphasizes that imaginative play, such as transforming a stick into a magic wand, develops cognitive abilities more effectively than structured lessons. Finland's preschools encourage unstructured play, fostering independent thinkers, as Craft (2005) observes in "Creativity in Schools."

Why this tug-of-war in Vietnam?

What accounts for this conflict in Vietnam? It stems from ingrained habits: a binary view of right and wrong, and a belief in a singular path to success. Growing up, we are taught that there is only one correct way, and deviation leads to failure. Consequently, when a child invents a story about a "singing cat," adults might dismiss it with amusement or indifference, rather than encouragement. Gradually, children learn to conform, rather than explore beyond established boundaries.

Unlocking imagination

To unlock imagination, allow children to explore freely in their minds. Instead of correcting their ideas, ask, "Why a purple sky?" Engage with their imaginative stories, adding your own creative elements. When they play doctor, refrain

3. The Happiness Paradox: Seeking Joy, Finding Stress

Parents desire their children to be happy, so why the pressure?

No parent wants a sad child, yet many preschoolers are burdened with full schedules: English, math, piano, and dance—all to excel or keep up with their peers. Is this the carefree childhood they deserve? Research indicates otherwise. Luthar & Becker (2002), in "Child Development," link high expectations to early anxiety and depression. Finnish children thrive, learning at their own pace, without competition, as noted by Määttä & Uusiautti (2012) in the "International Journal of Educational Research." In Vietnam, Trần Thị Minh (2020), in "Tạp chí Khoa học Giáo dục Việt Nam," connects parental pressure to young children's fears—of making mistakes, being scolded, or experiencing sleepless nights.

What underlies this phenomenon?

Love, certainly—but also cultural influences. In this context, a parent's worth is often tied to their child's achievements. A 4-year-old who can read receives praise, while a slower learner faces disapproval. It's a cyclical pattern: parents exert pressure, and children feel it.

Restoring joy

Focus on effort, not just outcomes. "I love how hard you tried" is more valuable than "Great score." Carol Dweck (2006), in "Growth Mindset," demonstrates that children praised for their effort are more resilient and motivated. Celebrate the messy drawing they dedicated an hour to—happiness and perseverance are nurtured there.

Conclusion: Childhood Should Be Joy, Not Pressure

These preschool paradoxes in Vietnam highlight a crucial truth: love requires a delicate approach. We desire success for our children, but it's not about early reading or academic rankings—it's about fostering a lifelong love of learning, boundless imagination, and quiet confidence. Each child develops uniquely, at their own pace. Parents should guide, not coerce, nurturing potential rather than forcing conformity. This is the most precious gift for those formative years.